Sweet Violets

There once was a farmer who took a young miss
In back of the barn where he gave her a lecture
On horses, and chickens and eggs and told her that she had
Such beautiful manners befitting a girl of her charms
A girl that he wanted to take in his washing and ironing
And then if she did they would get married and raise lots of
Sweet violets.  Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
Covered all over with Sweet Violets. 

The girl told the farmer that he’d better stop and she
Called her father and he called a taxi and got there
Before very long ‘ cause someone was doing his little
Girl right for a change and so that’s’ why he said
If you marry her son you’re better off single ‘cause
It’s always been my belief that marriage will bring
A man nothing but Sweet Violets etc. 

The Farmer decided to wed anyway and started
In saving for his wedding suit which he purchased
For only one buck and then he found out he was just
Out of money and so he got left in the lurch
Standing and waiting in front of the end of this
Story, which just goes to show that all a girl
Wants from a man is his sweet violets. Etc.
 

I’ll get more lovin’ from that dummy

I’ll take the leg from some old table
I’ll take the arm from some old chair
I’ll take the hands and face off a clock
And from a horse I’ll get some hair
I’ll take the neck from some old bottle
And baby when I’m through
I’ll get more lovin’ from that dumb, dumb dummy
Than I ever got from you.

After the ball was over

After the ball was over
Katie took out her glass eye
Stood her peg leg on the corner
Corked up her bottle of dye.
Put her false teeth in the tumbler
Hung her false wig on the wall
Katie goes all to pieces
After the ball.

Mare’s eat oats and does eat oats

Mare’s eat oats and doe's eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
A kid’ll eat ivy, too,
Wouldn’t you?
If the words seem queer
And funny to your ear
A little bit jumbled and jivey
Well –
It’s mare’s eat oats - and doe's eat oat's
and little lamb's eat ivy - a kid will eat ivy too - Wouldn't you?

Has Anybody Seen My Gal?

Five foot two, eyes of blue, oh, what those five feet could do: has anybody seen my gal?
Turned-up nose, turned-down hose Flapper? Yes sir, one of those
Has anybody seen my gal?
Well, if you run into a five-foot-two covered with pearls
Diamond rings, and all those things
Bet your life it isn't her
But could she love, could she coo!
Cootchie-cootchie-cootchie coo!
Has anybody seen my gal

6 ft 4

6 foot 4, built like a door
Rolls of fat no room for more
Has anybody seen my gal?
Now if you run into 6 ft 4
Dressed up real slick
Diamond rings and all those things
But your life she’s not my chick
But can she cook
Boy and how
Sits right down
And eats like a cow
Has anybody seen my gal?